


James T. Kirk, Rule Breaker

by musicmillennia



Category: Sherlock (TV), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Briefly Creepy Chekov, Burned Spock, Cannibalism, Cheesy Moments, Falling In Love, Feelings, Haunted House, Haunting, Humor, Kissing, Language, Mentions of Suicide, Multi, Past Drowning, Past Fire, Poor John Watson, Reference to TOS, References to Hannibal, References to Teen Wolf, Rule Breaking, Trauma, Violent Deaths, mentions of past rape, references to alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 23:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicmillennia/pseuds/musicmillennia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At 1701 Enterprise Lane, the spirits have a set of rules they follow. James T. Kirk breaks, well, pretty much all of them. Ghost AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	James T. Kirk, Rule Breaker

**Author's Note:**

> This is by far the longest work I have posted on this site. It is also unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own. I hope this turned out alright in the end, as it took me about four or five hours to write (I just started and...couldn't stop).
> 
> Please enjoy :D

He  _fell down the stairs._  

While Leonard acknowledges that Khan had shoved him, he also thinks the idiot could've at least had the reflexes to grip the railing or something that would've saved his neck from breaking. Now Leonard's gotta deal with another corpse stinkin' up the joint until the police intervene and the kid himself staring at his own body and flipping out.

But really. The damn  _stairs_. He could've at least been like Spock and gone out in a blaze of glory (it hadn't exactly been glorious at the time but you get it), or Uhura and drowning at the hands of her bastard of a husband (then again, that would imply the idiot's getting married, which Leonard can't imagine considering the obscene amount of one night stands he brought during his stay). His death was like Leonard's committing suicide just because his bitch of an ex-wife left him and took their daughter.

Leonard does feel sympathetic in spite of the horribly anticlimatic death. Jim Kirk was young. Maybe not as young as Pavel, but young nevertheless. His family, whenever they came around, consisted of a distand brother who'd taught his son not to talk to his uncle no matter how nice he was, a mother who never looked him in the eye, and grandparents who never turned down an opportunity to tell their grandson he was a disappointment no matter how successful a naval officer he'd been (Captain of his own ship by the looks of the medals hidden in the drawer--not that Leonard had been looking or anything) or how he was set up to become Senior Sales Manager, the youngest ever, of a major company after his boss retired. On top of that, Jim could never settle down, probably too afraid to; he didn't have any real friends who cared about him, leading to alcoholism like Leonard. He also suffered from nightmares from his tours. All in all, he just never got a break.

Yet he still managed to get up in the morning and smile. Leonard thinks he can admire that. _  
_

"Wow, that's gotta be the worst death _ever_."

Leonard shakes himself out of his reverie to look at Jim, who is actually not freaking out at all. In fact, he almost looks annoyed with himself.

"Man, I can't even  _die_  right," he continues, "I fall down the stairs and now I'm not even passing on."

Leonard looks at the body, then at the spirit. Then he walks over and puts a hand on Jim's shoulder.

"The ghost thing isn't your fault, kid," he tells the now gaping face, "And at least you went out with a bang."

Jim recovers from his surprise quickly, grinning openly at his new companion. "How long have you been here?" he asks.

"I was the first owner," Leonard sighs, "Been here, oh...230 years, give or take."

"234.11 years, doctor."

Jim's breath catches, and Leonard really doesn't blame him. Spock's face is one of those faces where every time you look at it it's like the first time. His features are all burned and mangled, only his eyes escaping the mess, staring like two brown laser beams from a blackened charcoal art gone horribly wrong. Part of his jaw bone is exposed, and one of his ears is missing a chunk off the top. The rest of his body is like that ear, with bits of bones showing here and there. It was a shame that fire, disastrous as it was, couldn't free any of them, as half the house was still intact. (Damn shame.)

Uhura comes up beside him, and she's as beautiful as ever, just soaking wet constantly and dripping invisible water all over the floors wherever she goes. The only bright side is she never gets cold from the occasional breeze. Leonard has absolutely no idea what she sees in Spock's gnarled face, but whatever it is it's got those two attached to the hip. If Leonard had been poetic, he'd think about how water and fire, two opposites, attract so well in the two of them. But really all he thinks is Phantom of the Opera.

"Uh, hi," Jim greets them lamely.

"Hello," Spock responds, Uhura saying, "Hey."

"Are you...okay?" Jim asks Spock. Leonard wants to smack him because Rule Number 32 of 1701 Enterprise Lane: Do Not Talk About Spock's Face. He'll have to go over them with this moron later.

Spock shows no reaction, though Leonard can't tell outside of his eyes. "Affirmative," he says, "This is only the state in which I am left with after I perished in a fire 25.4 years previous." he raises what Leonard thinks is his eyebrow when Jim tilts his head. "...I am amenable should you wish to explore the damage using touch sensory."

Jim's hands are instantly all over the face. Uhura doesn't seem to like it one bit but Leonard can't help but cover a laugh with the look in Spock's eyes.

"Whoa," Jim laughs, blue eyes bright in spite of his having just died, "This is awesome!"

"I assure you it did not feel 'awesome' at the time, Mr. Kirk," Spock says.

"Call me Jim," Jim tells him, taking his hands away after shivering in delight at feeling the jaw bone. "This your girlfriend?" nodding to Uhura.

"We can't exactly go anywhere for dates, but I guess that word applies," Uhura confirms, still tense from Jim's probing of her boyfriend's burns. "I'm Uhura."

"Do you not have a last name?" Jim asks, eyebrows rising--damn they're thick, how did Leonard not notice those puppies?--with arrogant sarcasm.

Uhura is not amused. "Uhura is my last name," she says.

"Then do you not have a first name?"

"That's all your getting,  _Jim._ "

"If you don't tell me I'm gonna have to make one up!" Jim sing-songs, turning around to circle his corpse. Leonard is astonished at how calmly he gazes at what used to be his body, how easily he prods at the giant bruise on his neck and comparing it with his spirit's in the mirror on the wall to the right of the staircase.

How can he be so damn cool about it? Leonard won't go into details, but when he saw his body hanging from that chandelier...well, it hadn't been pretty (or in any way considered "manly").

Uhura glares at Jim until he huffs and promises he'll weasel it out of her one day because he's got plenty of time now. He moves to Spock, "So, what about you? I don't want to call you Phantom, so..."

Leonard coughs loudly so he won't laugh. Uhura glares, but Jim gives him a sly sidelong glance. Maybe he could grow to like this kid after all.

"I am Spock," Spock replies, "I doubt you will be able to pronounce my first name."

Jim's eyes light up. "A foreigner, then?"

"Indeed. My mother was from Chicago, but my father comes from a small island overseas. You would not be able to pronounce the island's name either."

"Well, at least you've got a good reason," Jim amends, "Alright, Spock it is. Kinda sci-fi, but I love sci-fi." he pivots and looks at Leonard. "And you are?"

"McCoy," Leonard inclines his head, "Leonard McCoy."

"...okay," Jim mumbles, "I'll just call you McCoy. How's that?"

Leonard rolls his eyes, "Whatever, kid."

Jim starts talking to Spock again, and Leonard slips up to what used to be his room.

{~*&*~}

Jim Kirk, if possible, is even more alive in death than he was in life. He's a great big ball of energetic child trapped in a 25 year old's body. Though Leonard usually hangs out on his own on the now abandoned third floor, Jim makes it his business to seek him out and drag him down to where he and Spock are playing chess or where he's exploring Leonard's floor at the time.

Once, a week after his death, Jim takes him to the basement, violating Rule Number 21: Do Not Go Into the Basement If Your Name is Not Hikaru Sulu or Montgomery Scott. And there's a definite reason that rule was set in place and fully enforced.

Pavel Chekov is down there.

Jim is similar to Pavel in many ways when the poor kid was still alive, only "sewenteen" when his hysterical mother buried him alive and covered his body with cement in the basement in 1953. It has yet to be found, but before Leonard left him alone, he always sat on a specific spot near the right corner of the room.

In death, Pavel is the stereotype definition of ghost. His skin is paler than a sheet, dirt covering his face and making his eyes seem more sunken into his skull. If you were to enter the basement, his dark, empty eyes would stare unfailingly at you until you felt so cold and freaked out you'd practically run back up the stairs into the warmth of the living room. He wasn't violent, but he spoke not a word, except sometimes to Hikaru Sulu and Montgomery Scott, who more often than not were down there with him.

Leonard could tell why Pavel tolerated them more than himself, Spock, and Uhura. Scott is a loud, boisterous fellow by nature, always quick to laugh and joke. After he'd died in his sleep in the late 1960's from literally drinking himself to death (he always boasts about it like it's some amazing feat. Leonard gets a headache soon after despite his being dead), he wandered down to where Pavel was and sat with him for a while. Leonard followed him until the middle of the stairs just to check and see if he was going to be alright.

Pavel stared, and Scott stared back. After almost ten minutes, Scott tentatively reached out and placed a hand on the teen's shoulder. Pavel stiffened, but didn't pull back.

Then Scott murmured to him, "Would it be alright if I stayed with yeh for a while, lad?"

From then on, it was like Scott was the father-figure Pavel never had when he first moved in. But then 1975 rolled around and Hikaru Sulu was shot by his grandfather for protesting the Vietnam War. His body was left in the basement, gun put into his hand so the police thought suicide.

For him, Pavel got up and moved. Sulu cracked a joke, and the slightest hint of a smile lit up those lost eyes. Leonard decided it was best to just let them be.

Now, Jim-the-idiot-Kirk is bounding towards those basement steps, going on and on about how he never went down there, getting weird vibes, and hey, it's not like he can die again, so why not?

The only reason Leonard can't protest is Jim's tight grip on his wrist. He sometimes forgets when Jim grins that the other man had indeed been a naval officer, and an extremely competent one at that.

The basement is dark as usual, with only an old light bulb in the center as a source of light. Jim finds it with his fingers and turns it on, only to promptly cry out in surprise when Pavel suddenly appears in his vision, empty eyes staring him and Leonard into oblivion.

"I told you, Rule 21," Leonard mutters, "Dammit Jim, when are you ever gonna listen to me?"

Jim's not listening now either. Instead he's squatting down with a friggin' smile on his face.

"Hey there," he greets, "I'm Jim Kirk. What's your name?"

Leonard face-palms, partially from the sheer idiocy but mostly because Pavel's eyes haven't lost their touch and it freaks him out, dammit.

"He doesn't say much," Sulu's voice comes from the left, "I have to try for hours just to get him to mumble something."

"When's the last time he's seen daylight?" Jim asks, breaking Rule Number 22: Do Not Talk About Pavel Chekov's Death. It's a miracle this kid made it so far in the Navy with all the rules he breaks here.

"Ah," Sulu hesitates, "It's...kind of a long story."

"Are you just saying that because of McCoy's stupid rules or you really don't want to talk about it?"

"Kinda both, actually. I'm Hikaru Sulu, by the way. I got shot down here."

"I fell down the stairs."

"...dude, that's just sad."

"I  _know_."

Leonard hasn't told him about Khan yet. Rule Number 35 has yet to be broken by himself or anyone here. Because if you talk about Khan, there he'll be, and trust McCoy when he says you do not want Khan there.

He removes his hand from his eyes and tries his best to ignore Chekov in favor of grumbling to Jim, "Can we go now?"

"No," Jim tells him simply, "I'm not leaving until I get this poor kid upstairs."

Sulu shakes his head, "Good luck with that. I've been trying to do that since 1975."

"Have you tried just lifting him up and manhandling him?"

"Wha--why would I do that?"

Jim shrugs, "Because that's what my stepfather used to do to me before he got arrested."

Leonard is the one to break the sudden silence that falls over the room at that statement. "Jim, I don't think he'll appreciate that," he implores.

"Then I'll have to talk him up."

"While I don't doubt the levels of annoyance you could induce on the poor bastard--"

"McCoy, would you just  _shh_?"

Sulu snickers; Leonard scowls. Both go either unnoticed or ignored by Jim, who's staring at Pavel as Scot once did. Only this time, he's talking.

"You look lost," he says to Chekov, "Lost and lonely, like those ghosts from my mother's old books." he notices Chekov's reaction when he says 'mother'. "...did your mom do something horrible to you?"

The whole room is swept into tense quiet. But Chekov  _nods_. Which, if you'd been around as long as Leonard has, that's huge.

Jim licks his lips before speaking again (Leonard specifically does not stare). "My mom probably wasn't as bad, but I could tell she didn't like me either. She couldn't even look at me 'cause I'm too much like my dad. He died when I was born; kinda makes my birthday the absolute worst day ever in my family." he touches Chekov's arm, "But I never gave up, because I knew sitting around wouldn't change anything. And I also knew that it wasn't my fault she saw my father; that was on her."

Something changes in Chekov's eyes; it's not as monumental as when he looks at Sulu sometimes, but it's still there for everyone to see.

Leonard wishes he could say that after Jim's spiel Chekov's entire outlook on the afterlife changed and he bounded up the stairs like a real boy, but in reality it took Jim's persistent visits for the next two weeks for him to so much as stand up again.

During that time, Jim's body is finally removed. All Jim has to say on the matter is, "Thank God. It smelled like shit."

Leonard snorts and rolls his eyes; Spock lifts a black eyebrow (the flesh always crinkles like tissue paper, part of the reason why Leonard hates the action so much); Uhura's like Leonard and rolls her eyes, though she's a (her words, not his) "fucking lady" so she doesn't snort. (She does snort, and often, if you can get her to laugh hard enough. She just never admits it.)

Finally, a month since Jim broke his neck, Jim leaves for the stairs and Chekov follows. After that, the kid doesn't stop following Jim, which inevitably makes Sulu and Scott Jim's new friends, which in turn somehow threatens Spock because Jim's gotten under his charred skin, and Uhura follows suit. Before Leonard knows it, where Jim goes, practically everyone goes. It makes for interesting gatherings in Leonard's old room at the crack ass of dawn--when Jim decides it's time to bother him again.

He doesn't know how he did it, but suddenly Jim Kirk is kind of--very--important.

{~*&*~}

The thing is, despite Jim Kirk's boundless grins and jubilant presence, things aren't sunshine and roses all the time at 1701 Enterprise Lane. They're spirits, many old with many violent deaths. Sometimes, things get hairy.

Leonard's learned to know the signs. He compares them to symptoms since he's a doctor and the episodes remind him of a nasty disease. Sulu stares at his bloodied chest longer than usual, steps heavier like the bullet's a burden he can't shake. Pavel develops a new symptom of going back to the basement, but other than that he retains his habit of clawing at the concrete where he sits. Spock trembles ever so slightly, eyes burning as his skin had; he's one of the most violent, but only with Uhura, which is understandable considering...well, Rule Number 33: Do Not Talk About Spock's Trust Issues with Significant Others. Uhura herself sits in the very bathtub in which she'd died (it never got repleaced, her death having only been 5 years before Jim's moving in; Leonard's just glad the idiot got some sense and hadn't brought it up when he met her), knees drawn up and lips pursed. If he's not caught up in his own shit, Spock makes a point to climb in behind her and sit with her until her whole body shudders and she starts to cry; he never says anything, just holds her until she can wipe her eyes and stand up.

Leonard doesn't escape either. He's one of the potentially violent ones, like Spock can be. It always starts with flashes of Jocelyn carrying a sobbing Joanna out the door, how friendly that rope had looked, until suddenly Leonard finds himself choking someone else, himself, or making his hands bleed phantom blood from digging his nails into his palms.

(He does it to Jim once; he blinks and his hands are wrapped around the kid's already black and blue throat. They're on the landing in the back staircase, where the chandelier used to hang before it was replaced by a cheap overhanging lamp.

" _Shit_!" Leonard growls harshly, stumbling back. As spirits, they only breathe on principle, but Jim still coughs and wheezes against the window seat, the dark backyard behind him making his eyes and hair seem especially bright and the bruise on his neck more prominent. _  
_

"I'm sorry Jim," Leonard says, "Fuck, I'm so sorry, I--"

Jim just waves him off, goes to where his room used to be before a bunch of strangers came in and took all his stuff away (nobody talks about how none of Jim's family came with them; they never do because it's now Rule Number 514). When Leonard sees him three days later, it's like the whole thing never happened.)

Jim starts showing symptoms four and a half weeks after his death, as far as Leonard knows. He finds Jim in the pantry having a panic attack, muttering incoherently. It takes longer than it should to snap him out of it; Leonard ends up cradling him like a child under his chin, telling him to _breathe dammit, come on_.

Leonard's being goes cold when Jim sniffles into his throat, "I...I thought I saw something at the top of the stairs."

He knows exactly who that was, but Rule Number 35 shuts his mouth. Jim deserves to exist in as much ignorance for as long as possible.

Khan has symptoms too; Leonard prefers not to say what they are.

{~*&*~} 

Khan is feared and avoided by them all like Voldemort for a reason. (Yes, Leonard knows who Voldemort is; it's all Uhura and Jim's fault for their bonding over Harry Potter.) For one, while everyone else who ever lived in the house was more or less a normal person with a normal life, he was the serial killer.

It's more messed up than that, though; he was the Hannibal Lecter-type serial killer. Worse, he and Spock? They knew each other in life. Spock never talks about it, but they were once in a serious relationship, having just gotten to the "living together" phase. Spock also never talks about how he knows exactly who started the fire that'd killed him.

Leonard had seen the whole argument. Khan had just returned home after meeting with their neighbor, Marla McGivers, who'd just moved in two months prior. Spock was a math professor who had shown a lot of emotion; he went right up to Khan and crossed his arms.

"Her perfume's all over you," he snapped.

Khan rolled his eyes, hauling his messenger bag to the kitchen island. "Get over yourself," he said calmly, "It's not like you've been worth the time."

Spock's face fell, but he didn't let Khan see. "How many times did you fuck her?" he demanded as Khan took out a plastic bag containing--"Is that meat?"

"Sorry, avert your vegetarian eyes," Khan told him, sarcasm evident in his voice, "Bambi's a bit worse for wear."

"You asshole, that's not what I mean," Spock walked quickly up to the wrapped meat and with a shaking hand pointed to it and asked, "Is that...Marla's hair?"

Khan sighed melodramatically. "Obviously," he said, "How do you think I got it so cheap?"

Leonard's never seen a face so pale since he met Chekov. Khan acted like it wasn't a big fucking deal, like he hadn't just killed someone in cold blood and was intending on eating them for dinner.

"I thought you knew," Khan shrugged a shoulder, "How unfortunate."

"W-what do you mean?" Spock stuttered.

"Well, you're moving towards the phone, which suggests you're going to call the police."

"No shit! You're a murderer!"

"Now, now, that's such a harsh word. I assure you, she didn't feel it...much."

Leonard could only watch as Khan easily overpowered Spock and covered his unconscious body and the area around it with kerosene from the cabinet under the sink. He was out before the kitchen caught fire, while Spock woke up screaming.

All Khan muttered before he left was, "What a waste," and Leonard was sure he wasn't talking about his boyfriend.

He died when a particularly clever 'hunt' had the common decency to take him down.

Since then, it's as if the fire took away whatever light that used to drive Spock to be so open. Leonard doesn't despise the man himself, just the fact that he simply  _gave up_ after waking up dead in a blaze. He can tell Spock cares deeply for Uhura, but because of what Khan did to him he's not fully able to trust anyone even after all these years. Ironically however, he is the only one who is not afraid of his ex-boyfriend. Leonard thinks that's the only good thing that came out of it all.

That's why Jim is so astounding when it comes to him. He and Spock have this thing; Leonard has no idea what to call it but it's there, hanging over the pair like a safety blanket. They just  _click,_ despite their numerous differences. Jim gets Spock, Spock gets Jim. It's a weird, almost best friend telepathy thing that makes Spock seem almost human again. Their friendship is legendary to the residents of 1701 Enterprise Lane; it's why Uhura tolerates Jim's general assholery and it's why Leonard finds himself staring openly at Jim like he's never seen him before.

A shadow to his left snaps Leonard back to reality. He all but runs out of the room and into the foyer.

{~*&*~}

Jim finally decides on a name for Leonard when he bursts into the living room one day and announces, "Pavel and I found a skeleton! Whose is it?"

Spock, Uhura, Scotty--now called Scotty by Jim--and Leonard had been there, Sulu busy having one of his episodes.

"I cannae tell yeh lad, but I know what yer talkin' about," Scotty says, taking another swig of the old bourbon that's somehow always in his jacket pocket. Leonard begrudges him for it because he'd go for an endless supply of alcohol any day. "I saw it a couple a days after meetin' Pavel for the first time. Up in the attic, right?"

"Yeah!" Jim nods fervently, confirming Leonard's suspicions.

He raises his hand half-heartedly before motioning for Scotty to hand over his flask. "It's mine," he mutters.

"No way!" Jim grins, and Leonard never gets that wonderful drink because suddenly he's being dragged up to the attic, where an old dusty toy chest is opened and showing his rotten bones all broken into pieces so it would fit. 

He gripes to the idiot who denied him his one shot of happiness, "What's the big deal?"

"Why are you in the  _attic_?" Jim asks, looking like a child who's talking to Santa.

"My aunt was a crazy bitch," Leonard shrugs, "She came in, saw my body, put it up here. Don't ask me why, 's not like I could ask why she decided to put my damn body in a rusty chest."

Jim's face scrunches up, "Why is it that everyone in this house is either crazy or knew somebody who was  _batshit insane_?"

"Yah got me, kid."

Chekov's lips curl into a tiny smile.

There's a pause, and then Jim asks, "Hey, you never told me how you died."

Leonard scowls, "Didn't I tell you? Rule Number 1."

"Don't Talk About Leonard McCoy's Death," Jim recites with a grossly exaggerated eye roll that further proves how much of a manchild he is, "C'mon, it can't be worse than falling down the stairs."

Leonard doesn't know why he says it. Maybe it's because he's a stubborn man with a horrible case of pride that hates to acknowledge how he pulled a Romeo simply because Juliet decided to run off to Paris after all.

He doesn't know, but he slips up. "At least you were pushed."

Jim stiffens; Pavel notices and does the same, eyes widening marginally in alarm.

"What do you mean?" Jim asks quietly.

Leonard looks around quickly. No shadows yet, but if he continues, that won't last long.

"I committed suicide because my bitch of a wife divorced me, okay?" he snaps.

Jim seems just as willing to let the subject go, so he perks right back up, "Really? That's so pathetic!"

"Shuddup Jim," Leonard growls, but Jim never listens.

"So I guess she took everything, huh?"

"The whole damn planet," Leonard replies, "Even our daughter. All I had left was my bones."

"Your bones..." Jim trails off, eyes narrowing in thought. (He does that thing with his tongue too, and Leonard isn't staring dammit.) A moment later, "Bones. I like that. I'm gonna call you that from now on, okay?"

"Wha--I'm not a fucking dog!" Leonard protests.

"Of course you're not, Bones."

"Jim!"

"Yeah, Bones?"

"...fuck you."

"Hey! Not in front of the kid!"

'Bones' is not used by anyone else, primarily because Jim introduces it as  _his_ nickname. Everyone else refers to Leonard by his first name or his last. He thinks about boycotting it further, but he knows how futile the struggle would be and eventually answers to it.

Once Jim's got his mind set on something, there's no stopping him.

{~*&*~}

"Y'know Bones," Jim tells him one day as they're watching the sun set on the back porch, "I don't think you committed suicide because your wife left you."

Leonard grunts, taking another swig of Scotty's flask.

"I think you did it because you thought you'd never see your daughter again."

Leonard pauses mid-drink. Slowly, the flask is lowered, and brown meets blue.

"You are somethin' else, kid."

Jim smiles, and Leonard realizes with a jolt that he's probably more than a little fucked.

{~*&*~}

The first time Leonard kisses him is the first time Jim meets Khan face to face.

Leonard hadn't been there, no one had. He'd been in his bedroom, Chekov had retreated to the basement for an episode, Spock and Uhura were having a "date" (meaning private time together in the observatory), Scotty was busy drinking himself silly in the wine cellar, and Sulu had been with Chekov in case he needed moral support.

Jim had been all alone. Leonard will never forget the sound of his scream.

Those who can rush to the top of the steps where Jim had fallen eight months ago to find him having another panic attack. There's a tell tale black ooze on the wall near him that confirms what they already know.

"Khan did this," Spock states quietly.

"No shit, Sherlock," Leonard snaps, immediately moving to grip Jim's arms.

Jim's gasping, "There was a--he di--he--"

"He knows," Uhura murmurs, kneeling down on Jim's other side, "McCoy, I don't know if--"

"He'll come out of it," Leonard insists, drawing Jim's pale form into his arms as he always has.

Scotty frowns, "I dunno lad, Khan is--"

"Khan is a selfish, cannibalistic bastard," Leonard interrupts, "he didn't think about how stubborn Jim is."

"The probability of his recovering from Khan's influence is less than 4.3%," Spock says, tone unusually thick with something Leonard can't name, "How can you be so certain?"

"Because he has me, dammit!" Leonard cries. (He will deny for the rest of his existence that his voice cracked.)

He tells Jim to breathe, tries to set a pattern, but one minute turns into two, turns into three. Leonard's getting desperate, trying to think of anything that can help stop a panic attack like this one. But the last time he'd tried yielded disastrous results (Rule Number 40: Do Not Talk About Gaila).

To say he had a great epiphany like the one on the back porch would be a grievous overstatement; however, the meaning was much more in one second than one minute watching that sunset and contemplating his death for the first time in over two centuries.

Then, he'd realized he had more than a small, stupid crush on Jim Kirk. Now he realizes, oh shit, he's in love with Jim Kirk.

"Fuck you sideways, kid," he snaps before kissing Jim's colorless lips.

First of all, no he hadn't intended for the moment to be like something from a bad movie. Leonard can't remember right this second, but he read somewhere that not breathing is a way to help stop a panic attack. Second, yes it was a terrible kiss under terrible circumstances. Third, no Leonard didn't almost cry when Jim's breathing evened out. That would be ridiculous.

"...Bones?"

"What?"

"Did you just--?"

"Don't look at me like that. I was tryin' to help you, dammit."

Uhura scoffs, "Will you two just get your heads outta your asses already?"

Jim's cheeks regain their color gradually. "Hey!  _I've_ accepted how I felt. It's Bones who purposely wants to be oblivious."

Leonard glowers, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Jim squawks. "Why do you think I always drag you everywhere? Or trust you to help me out when I have one of those episode things? Or comfort you when you talked about your suicide?" Leonard's surprise must register on his face because Jim groans, "Oh for the love of God," and kisses him again.

That kiss was the one that counted. Leonard will never say otherwise.

"Finally," Scotty mutters, "C'mon Nyota, Spock. We donna need to see this."

Jim gasps, but it's not from Leonard's great tongue technique. He pulls away to yell, "Nyota's your first name?!"

Uhura face-palms. She's not the only one.

{~*&*~}

The next time Khan shows it's because of Jim's being a complete(ly brave) idiot.

He and Leonard are curled up on the couch in the living room that the realtor had set up to make the house look pretty for potential buyers. They were relaxing before the open house that would be coming up the next day. Leonard is reading one of his books that'd been left behind while Jim is wrapped around his waist. They don't have to take naps, considering they're dead, but Jim likes to have one anyway.

Abruptly he says, "So Khan's a cannibal?"

Leonard's eyes immediately scan the area for shadows. "Jim, what did I tell you about Rule 35?"

"We're not supposed to talk about Khan," Jim says, "But I don't get it. I mean, we're already dead, what more can he do?"

"I can break your spirit if you'd like."

Shit, shit, shit, shit--

"Was that what you tried to do to me?" Jim asks the shadow in the corner.

"Yes," Khan steps out, face almost white and eyes as cold as his soul, "I have succeeded on others. What rule is the one girl? Number 40?"

"Yep," Jim nods, popping the 'p'. He stretches as if Leonard isn't about to bolt and a serial killer isn't standing ten feet away. "Poor Gaila. Why'd you have to do that?"

"She was in my way," Khan says as if it's fucking obvious and sweet (damn flirtatious but sweet nonetheless) Gaila, Uhura's best friend who died trying to save her life, was just some piece of meat to play with.

"As I was?"

"As you were."

Jim hums, sitting up. "You killed Spock too, right?"

"Are we just going to sit back and list my victories, or," Khan's lips curl into a bone-chilling smirk, "Shall we begin?"

"Begin what? Playing your game?" Jim stands, "I  _am_ playing. This is my turn."

Khan raises an eyebrow. "Oh? This should be interesting."

"I like to use the word 'fascinating'. My best friend says it all the time."

"You mean that annoying vegetarian who follows a woman around like a lost puppy?"

Jim tilts his head, worries his lips with his tongue. "What makes you so cold, Khan?" he wonders aloud, "Is it daddy issues? Mommy issues? Rape? Murder--rape?" he goes back to rape because Khan's eyes flash.

"Are you attempting to psychoanalyze me, Kirk?" Khan inquires steadily.

"Yes I am," Jim answers with a cold smile.

"Don't. You will not like me when I'm psychoanalyzed."

"Wow, eats like Hannibal, quotes Hannibal, was he your idol growing up? Oh wait, the show only came out recently...does that mean you were watching me while I watched TV?"

Leonard wants to tell him to shut up, but there's something about Khan's presence that makes his voice box malfunction. He hates having to opt to glaring at Jim's back instead.

"We'll save that discussion for later," Jim says, misinterpreting the glare like the moron he is, "Back to psychoanalyzing. Something to do with rape...now, I know what rape does to a person, I know how it sits in a heart. No, you were forced to watch it."

"Enough," Khan spits.

"Someone you loved? You didn't react when I talked about your parents, so maybe...did you see someone before Spock?"

The glasses on the fireplace mantle start to tremble. "I said  _enough_ \--"

"--your loved one was raped. Female? Male?" Jim gauges his reaction, "Male. Your boyfriend, then? And the culprit...also male?"

If Khan was a dragon, he's be spitting fire all over the place. Leonard can only stare like a deer in headlights as his fists curl and his eyes burn dark.

"There were two," he snarls, "One of them held me down, and the other took him like he was an animal."

"So you saw them as nothing but pigs to slaughter," Jim surmises.

Leonard shouts as Khan surges forward with a roar and pins Jim to the wall by the neck.

"What do _you_ know, Kirk?" Khan demands, "All you do is smile like a fool and run about like a child--"

"I know that two weeks before you attacked me, I found a picture in the wall," Jim wheezes, both hands gripping Khan's wrist, "It was a light haired guy wearing a sweater and holding your hand. And you--you looked like a different man. You looked _human_."

Leonard finally finds his voice, "Khan, let him go, you bastard--"

Khan's other hand snaps out until he's choking both of them. Jim's teeth clench but damn if the idiot ever stops talking.

"What do you think he'd say right now, huh?" he continues, making a strangled noise as Khan's grip tightens. "What would John think?"

And Khan--freezes. The hand on Leonard's throat loosens enough for Leonard to think again.

"That's his name, isn't it?" Jim croaks, "Saw it on the back. John and Khan. Thought-thought it was cute, 'cause...names rhymed."

Khan looks like he could murder Jim again, but at the same time there's something completely different in his stance, like when Chekov looked at Jim eleven months ago. It is a minute change, but it's there.

Leonard is slammed to the floor with brute force. His last thought was how he couldn't know ghosts could be knocked out.

{~*&*~}

When Leonard wakes, he's back on the couch, head resting on Jim's lap.

"Hey Bones!" Jim greets jovially, pecking his lips, "How's your head?"

"What the fuck's gotten into you?!" Leonard growls, "Provoking Khan of all the damn ghosts in this damn house?! Are you out of your damn mind?!"

"Y'know Bones, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if your said 'resevoir' instead of 'damn'," Jim says.

"Don't change the subject with that shit eatin' grin a yours!" Leonard snaps, hearing his accent thicken as his anger builds, "I outta push you down those stairs all over again, see if it'll knock some sense into yah!"

"He was threatening my friends," Jim retorts, "What was I supposed to do? Let him keep doing it? I used to shoot bastards like him out of the water! No  _fucking_ way am I letting one get the best of me now!"

Leonard doesn't respond to that because what can he say?  _Well gee, thanks so much Jim_?  _Way to make the psychopath remember why he kills people_?

A quiet, almost inaudible Russian accent says off to his right, "Zat is wery brave. Zank you."

And suddenly Leonard is shoved out of the way so Jim can tackle Chekov across the room with Sulu, Scotty, and Uhura. Amidst the commotion, Spock comes over and sits by Leonard's feet.

"D'you know what happened after I was tossed like a damn rag doll?" Leonard asks him.

Spock looks at him, and Leonard notices there's something wrong with what he thinks is what remains of his lips. Then he realizes--Spock is  _smiling_. It's as close-lipped as a guy with his condition can manage, but it's the biggest one Leonard's ever seen on him.

"I was not told to respond in that area," Spock says, "However, I am at liberty to assure you that Rule Number 35 can be fully discarded at this time."

Leonard looks over at Jim. He smiles begrudgingly. "That kid," he murmurs, "Is one crazy son of a bitch."

Spock's smile lights up his eyes. "Indeed."

{~*&*~}

Her name is Carol Marcus. She's the single mother of a rambunctious toddler named David, and works down at the local university as a physics teacher. When she has a free moment she's awake for she's usually found in the study playing with pieces of scrap metal and making them into ingenius inventions.

She is also two other things: a medium, and Jim's ex-girlfriend.

"James Tiberius Kirk," she says upon seeing him trying to fly up the stairs (he's gotten good at the whole flying thing after only two years, Leonard has to admit), "What a surprise."

"Ehe, hey Carol!" Jim chuckles, "Guess you bought the house then, huh?"

Carol's smile is both amusing and absolutely terrifying. Leonard doesn't know how she manages it, but then again, she dated Jim. Something about her has to be impossible.

"I did," she replies, "Hope your friend doesn't mind, but I'm re-opening the third floor."

Leonard swallows, feeling her eyes on his back. Fuck, she's good. "It's fine, sure," he answers, turning around--

\--just in time to see David's very blue, very _familiar_ blue eyes blink open from his nap.

Jim studies Leonard as he connects the dots. Carol smirks widely.

"DAMMIT JIM!"

"Fuck!"

Carol calls at their retreating backs, "Oi! You're lucky David can't hear you yet!"

Leonard can't respond; he's too busy trying to push Jim down the stairs again.

"Let's see if your dick'll break this time, yah little shit!"

"Bones!" Jim whines, holding onto the railing on both sides as Leonard pushes at his back, "I didn't know, I swear!"

"Like hell you didn't!"

Pavel laughs into Sulu's shoulder at the spectacle. Spock sees David as he wobbles around after his mother releases him and says, "Fascinating."

"Is it always like this?" Carol asks, turning to Uhura and Scotty.

"Aye," Scotty replies.

"Pretty much," Uhura nods.

"Well...this should be interesting."

"Get down the fucking stairs, Jim!"

"BOOONES!"

 

The End.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


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